Looking Back is Looking Forward
by a.lakewood
Summary: Remembering his past and how he’d achieved his success helps Rufus make a decision about Jenny.


**Title**: Looking Back is Looking Forward  
**Author**: alakewood  
**Warnings**: Spoiler for _The Serena Also Rises_.  
**Rating**: PG  
**Word** **Count**: 1400  
**Summary**: Remembering his past and how he'd achieved his success helps Rufus make a decision about Jenny.  
**Disclaimer**: As always, I own nothing.

**oxoxo**

The front cover of the magazine was tattered and wrinkled, a long crease separated Rufus from the rest of the band; it showed its age better than the date printed beneath the title. He smiled, the nostalgia instantaneous, easily recalling the very memorable interview.

He read the slugline beside the band photo: "Rolling Stone: Crushes Toes, Shatters Dreams – an unforgettable interview with one of today's most promising new talents." It made him laugh and he flipped to the dog-eared page that marked the beginning of the article. Lily's iconic photograph of him filled most of the page, only a few lines of text at the bottom.

The interview had taken place backstage of Lincoln Hawk's last concert of their first headlining tour. There was a sidebar of candid pictures from set-up and mic-check, a couple of pre-show, behind-the-scenes shots. Nick Delgado, the interviewer and self-professed "Number One Fan" of Rufus, had arrived early and offered to stay late to help out where he could.

Rufus remembered how Jekyll and Hyde Nick had been, switching from uber-fan to professional in the blink of an eye. It had been his Jekyll side that proved to be the most entertaining.

"Thankfully," the article began, "I conducted this interview at the final show of Lincoln Hawk's summer tour. At least, thankfully for me.

"I have always prided myself on my ability to maintain a professional composure among the celebrities and musicians – some of the _greats_ - during my short career, but I dropped the ball – or amp, as you'll learn – shortly after the concert."

Rufus remembered what Nick was referring to _very_ clearly. It had been Nick's first big interview for _Rolling Stone_ - he'd been interning since the previous fall and they surprised him halfway through the summer by adding him to the staff. He got the interview with Lincoln Hawk because he'd proved himself most knowledgeable of the band.

Nick had told Rufus how he'd immediately become a fan after seeing them perform a free show on the lawn of the NYU campus. That years' long dedication to the band had been what prompted Rufus into action. Nick seemed like a really great kid – couldn't have been much older than twenty – and had had a way about him that now reminded Rufus of Dan.

So Rufus had gotten all of the band members to sign the guitar he'd played during the show that night. He'd approached Nick, who was helping load the equipment trailer.

"It was one of those freak occurrences," Nick's article continued. "Of all the things that you imagine could happen, this isn't one of them."

Nick had been holding an amp when Rufus broke the news. The look of shock and disbelief on Nick's face was brief, because then he'd dropped the amp squarely on Rufus' toes, before it melted into horror.

Mike Hastings, Lincoln Hawk's drummer, had been the closest and saw what happened. He was immediately by Rufus' side asking if he was okay. He'd tossed Nick a slightly embarrassed smile. "I suppose I should've waited until you're hands were empty."

"I am _so_ sorry, Rufus – I don't know what happened."

"It's okay, Nick." He paused. "So much for that dream of being in the lead dance line of _Riverdance_." That had gotten a laugh out of Nick and broke the tension.

"As you'll read in the following interview, Rufus Humphrey's talent and insight are evenly matched by his sense of humor and ability to take, in stride, everything that life throws at him."

Rufus reread that last line. He'd overcome a lot of obstacles in his career to make his dreams come true. And there wasn't a single thing that he would've done differently. It made him think about Jenny.

She would probably regret not finishing school, but there was a chance – a very small, almost nonexistent chance – that it might be one of the things that stood in the way of her attaining her dream.

Rufus didn't want to be another obstacle on her path to success, didn't want to lose her because of it. There had to be some way to convince her that she could still manage school while working with Eleanor.

**oxo**

Jenny was surprised to find her father sitting in the chair behind her sewing machine in Eleanor's studio. She was even more surprised that Eleanor was across the aisle from him, leaning against another table, laughing at something he'd said. "You wanted to see me?" she questioned Eleanor.

Eleanor's face became serious. "You father's told me about what's been going on with you at school. That there was no open block and that you've told your headmistress that you're not going back."

Jenny opened her mouth to explain, to make excuses, but Eleanor simply held up a hand and she let her mouth close.

"But I've also told him how much of an asset you are to me. How important your talent and insight are, your ability to update and modify my old patterns." She paused. "We've come to an agreement."

Jenny was crushed. She shook her head, feeling the tears beginning.

"Jenny." It was Rufus' voice, quiet and gentle. "I don't want to take this away from you – I'm not. But you can't quit school just to pursue a dream. So, what Eleanor and I have decided is that you'll be homeschooled. A private tutor."

Jenny's eyes widened. "Dad."

"For now," he said. "As long as you don't fall behind, I don't see any reason why you can't follow your dreams _and_ keep up with your schooling."

"Are you serious?" Her hopeful gaze touched on Eleanor before returning to her father.

"Yes. As long as you make every effort to do your best...I just don't want to be the thing that holds you back."

Jenny went to Rufus, flung her arms around his neck. "I promise. Thanks, Dad. I love you so much."

"Love you, too, kid," he said, hugging her back.

Slowly, Jenny extracted herself from her father's embrace and turned to Eleanor. "And thank you, Eleanor."

Eleanor just smiled. "You're welcome, Jenny."

**oxo**

Later than night, Rufus returned the old _Rolling Stone_ to a box of old memories from a time when he was living a dream.

What he didn't tell Jenny is that, sometimes, your dreams change. Yes, he had always wanted to be a musician, but fame hadn't always been the most important thing. For him, it had always been about the music and being true to himself as an artist and not selling out. When he discovered that he could have fame and his ethics, too, he'd been overjoyed. But his dreams changed when he and Allison had learned that she was pregnant with Dan. More than anything – even his celebrity – he'd wanted a family.

He didn't want Jenny to later learn that fashion design wasn't everything she thought it was, or for her to have her success run its course and not have anything to fall back on. He just wanted to make sure she had options.

Sliding the box back into its place in his closet, Rufus though of Nick Delgado's interview, one of the questions that didn't make it into print. "What do your parents think of your success?"

Even now, so many years later, it hurt to think about the answer. His parents had never supported his dream of becoming a musician – told him to get his head out of the clouds and get a real job. He didn't want to make the same mistake with Jenny as his parents had made with him.

And he wouldn't. Because, the most important lesson he'd learned from his parents was that compromise was very important, and supporting your children, no matter what their dreams were, was everything.


End file.
